therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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