kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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