My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
