pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize