i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
