just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
