Your mouth is God's brothel.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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