she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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