Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I need moral support for this bender
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize