I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
