i permit you to call me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You had me at "let me see your balls"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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