He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
