Your face is a jimmy john
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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