so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My vagina just recognized that song.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
