And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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