I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
