My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
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