some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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