First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
