I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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