i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
