haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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