yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
