Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
