Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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