If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Its about making memories worth repressing
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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