You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
