Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
