i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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