Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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