And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I did not marry a roomba.
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