you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
