Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
