to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
