Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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