Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
