So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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