last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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