I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
