whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
