you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
