to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
