I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
