roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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