Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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