my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
im having a threesome with these popsicles
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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