She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
