Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
