Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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