At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
