It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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