i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
