hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
