My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
