I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
