why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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