all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
