We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize