if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
