Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
